Why We Become Mothers

We become mothers for a variety of reasons I guess. Sometimes as I go throughout my day and have a zillion things go wrong or worse think I am crazy, I wonder why I signed up for this thing called motherhood.

You find out you are pregnant and you and your husband are elated. It is exciting to have a baby. The moment you first feel it kick or that you find out if you are having a boy or girl. What is there not to be excited about. Nothing. You didn't think about how the baby was actually going to get out of the womb and then nobody tells you anything about the after effects of having the baby. You know what I am talking about, the weight gain, trying to shed the weight gain, breastfeeding, getting no sleep, trying to figure out if the baby is hungry or just exactly why it is crying and don't even let me get started on the hormone changes your body decides to go through at this time too. It is pure bliss.

As months go by you think you have the hang of this baby thing. You pride yourself on being able to get 6 hours of sleep or even better go throughout the day with less sleep and try not to be too ornery. That is just when it begins. No one tells you will become the person that takes away their bottle, their precious and most loved binky, their blanket if they happen to have one, change them from a crib to a bed, and yes potty train them. The bottle, I could do. It seemed to be a fairly easy transition to deal with, even the bed wasn't that bad, the binky on the other hand it is a little bit harder. They get so attached to it. It is the equivalent to mountain dew for some people or perhaps a cigarette for others. I mean, we all have our vices, we just don't realize what they are to us until we have to give them up.

I decided to potty train today so we left somewhere and came back and took a nap and after that we put panties on which was about 4pm. Well, at 8 pm we had already gone through 4 additional pairs of panties and it doesn't seems to phase her too much. I have kept my patience though. Tomorrow is another day and we will start again. Motherhood.

So anyway, my point in all of this is that we didn't sign up for all of these other things that we have to do along the way. But at the end of the day, I get to look at the most beautiful thing as I put her to bed 2 hours late because she won't stay in bed. And the minute they hand you your newborn baby in the hospital that moment is a moment you will never forget how you felt. Just like Heavenly Father said, I never said it would be easy, it will be worth. Jesus Christ gave his life for us and it was worth it to him to make that sacrifice for me. Motherhood may not be easy, but is always worth it. It is so pleasing to me every time my daughter does something that I know I have taught her or when she turns around and has two binkies stuffed in her mouth, or when she really does want to hold your hand to walk across the street, or when she says please and thank you. Even though several times a day I think it will just be a few more days before they admit me to the nut house I become a mother because that is my divine role, because these are the moments that I have waited for, and because I love it.

Pictures

I will write later but here are some pictures.

Are we Crazy?

I wonder that same question several times a day I think. Sometimes I think that we are more than crazy, just plain insane. I was just watching out our front window at the concrete spilling into the forms and can hear the nail guns shooting nails to hang the trusses on the garage. This morning I got everything submitted for entry to a Parade of Homes that will be in September. As if having a baby is not enough we have to add into the mix some remodeling, a parade of homes that needs decorating, a new garage, yard work and whatever other great and fabulous idea I have. Sometimes I think it would have been easier to just build a new house. And we will someday anyway. But whatever pain it causes, mostly mental, I am very grateful that we are capable of doing these things.

Since Reagan has been in a big bed I have decided that it is a similar transition to having a new baby. It takes a while for them to go to sleep and just when you yourself have drifted into sleep you hear crying or falling off the bed. You sleep for a few hours only to hear crying again, except this time it is 5:30 in the morning and she is awake for the day. So instead of pregnancy waking me up to go to the bathroom I can just rely on Reagan to adjust my sleeping schedule for a new baby. How delightful. This morning at 5:30 when she was sneaking into our bedroom, Brian went to pick her up and she started laughing thinking it was a game. She had her shoes on was ready to play. Yesterday is was 3:30 am that she had her shoes on. So Brian went to get in bed with her and I think he fell asleep but she didn't. So I think I need to pay a visit to the fabric store to make some blackout shades and something else for her toys and shoes maybe to go in outside of her room. What a goof!

Yesterday, Reagan was lovey dovey more than usual. Sometimes I whisper in her ear, I love Reagan and yesterday she was shoving her ear to my mouth and saying I love Reagy. That is what she calls herself. We are not sure where she got that from, but if she sees a picture of herself she points and says Reagy. At some time in the near future I will get some new pictures up of our house, my headboard that I made, and of course Reagan.

AGHHH!

You never ever in a million years think that your child could possibly be a brat. Well, I will be the first to admit it, Reagan is a brat tonight. Brian went to put her to bed and she of course was mad because he wouldn't lay by her for hours and then flipped out. She holds her breath when she gets mad and then of course tried to get up and walk and passed out and hit the wall. That made it even worse. So after 10 minutes of trying to get her calmed down I went to give her some medicine for her nose and it went down the wrong tube. Bawling and more bawling. Brian took her to go get her blanket and once again she went into all out hysteria because she thought he was going to put her to bed. I don't know what the big deal is but she doesn't like Brian to put her to bed. What a particular little brat. I don't know if it is an age thing, a too tired thing or what. I know that some of you are saying "that apple doesn't fall far from the tree" but I never got called Stormy or Ethel either. She is so particular right now. She doesn't like me to change her diaper or she won't eat very good for me but when Brian asks her to eat her food she does so willingly. Can't wait till I have one more to contend with.

On top of that, she takes like 2 hours to go to sleep at night and has been waking up at 5 am. I am not a morning person to begin with but 5 Am. The other night she woke up 3 different times and then was awake at 6:30 for the day. So we both were ornery and tired and we had to stay together all day. So I am not sure what to do with her. I think a lot of her problem is she is not getting enough sleep and because of that she is tired to really think straight. I am like that most days.

Now for the better stuff I guess. Our garage is partially framed up and trusses will be here on Monday. Yeah! We have carpet in our office downstairs and we hydroseeded our lawn. However, there is not enough pressure with our water to get our sprinklers working great so I have to hand water a little. It is a pain. I am not sure if the pump is down or what but it sure is annoying. So things are getting done. Sometimes it seems like a snails pace and other times it is a little faster. I will be glad when it is all done. Last week I was stressed because I felt like I had no control over any part of my life and this week I could care less. So I sit on my couch and think gosh I should do something. Gotta love being pregnant.

Good Things
1. Sanity, something I wish to have someday but probably never will
2. Progress
3. 9 1/2 weeks to go.

Happy Weekend

Hope you all had a fabulous Memorial Day Weekend. Ours was great. We went to Moms on Saturday for a little BBQ in the cold with everybody. It was good. On Sunday we headed south to the state below us to see family, visit graves, and more to go shopping. Me more than Brian. We stayed at the condo and it was so weird not to have Ginny there. The cemetaries were great. Mary told us some funny stories about everyone. On Sunday, we had dinner with Mary and Bob. It was great to see them as we don't get to very often. Monday I did a little bit of shopping and had a nap. It was rainy and very overcast but at least it was not snowing.

Today, I am just trying to catch up with laundry, house cleaning, and whatever I catch up on. It seems like I have been on the computer all day accounting to not much of anything getting done. I do have my list though. Tomorrow I am going to pick up a changing table and hopefully this week can get the baby's room kind of set up. Today is the day too, where I feel we have way to many projects going on and NOTHING is getting done. Everything is in disorder and I don't like it. I think it mostly pregnant Brooke talking but maybe not. We made a headboard for our bed on Saturday. It is cool and I like it. A 2 year project in the making that really took about 2 hours. Sometimes I have the best intentions. So instead of updating my blog I probably should get to the rest of the intentions for today and see if they actually get done.

Great Things
1. Intentions
2. Mini vacations
3. Only 11 weeks left to go YEAH!!

We did it

Reagan did it. She slept in her own bed and all night long and she didn't even fall off. After much banging on the door, Brian went in and consoled her and she was out. We will see what naps brings and what tonight brings.

Its gonna be a long night

Tonight is the first night with the bed for Reagan. I keep telling myself that I am ready but tonight I as put her to bed and she bawls and keeps knocking on the door I am not so sure. I don't know who change is harder for, the child or the mom. She is still in her bedroom lying in front of the door I am pretty sure just whimpering like a little puppy every now and then. At some point I will probably get sick of it and go in the time is getting sooner because currently she has something and is banging it on the door. She doesn't exactly know what is going on. She knows or at least she tells me there is a baby inside me but I don't think she really knows what that means. We will find out in still too many weeks. Change is inevitable though each of us deals with it everyday.

I am just getting larger and larger. I cannot bend down without thinking that I am going to die or my legs are going to fall off from lack of circulation. I planted my garden and halfway through I kept thinking "what am I thinking?" My hands and feet are starting to swell and it has just started to get hot. .

We just upgraded I guess anyway to a van. I know I thought I would never do it but gas prices are high and I am too practical to pay for a SUV. Really it is because I am cheap. I think we will like it. The space and everything about it. Hopefully we will drive it for years, ions I mean.

I am about to my breaking point. I think she has the garbage can and who knows what else, but she is not sounding tired at all in there.

We are building a new garage right now. What a mess. Our house is a disaster everywhere. We are working on the yard. Well, let me just put it this way...what aren't we working on? It will be great when it is all done but in the process it is a little scary.

Great Things
1. Peace and quiet, Not right now but sometimes
2. Gardens
3. A husband who supports me and doesn't seem to even mind the nagging.