Gratitude

W have been busy but that is no excuse for not keeping up.  Summer has come and gone and school has started.  As has the first parent teacher conference and it is almost thanksgiving.  I have been caught up or consumed with things I which I have no control.  It is hard to let go of those things some times.  Things that we want and can't have or The Lord does not see fit to give us right now.  And with that comes angst in not getting those things.  But in time my heart has settled and has been pacified all through the Lord's own way.  It is a good thing he know what is best for each of us and he truly does.  He knows us far better than we know ourselves.  He knows how to succor us and fill our hearts with peace and gratitude.

With that succor I have felt that peace and gratitude.  I have decided to move forward with a grateful heart in knowing I have two wonderfully amazing children who truly are bests friends.  The are over two years apart but are the same heart and it has become an every outing question if they are twins.  Maybe they are in spirit?  We went to parent teacher conference only to be told that our children our polite and kind and want to help everyone they can.  We walked away thinking we may be doing something right in this whole parenting adventure.  ( sometimes I think the politeness and manners end when they walk in the door to our home). We are working on that.  They are doing great in school and and they love it.  What a relief.  So knowing that I may not have any more children but that I have two great children with me through this life journey and a wonderful husband to join us will make the reunion with our heavenly children that much sweeter.  And what a sweet reunion it will be.

I truly have so many blessings.  I think of the sweet people in the Philippines suffering right now and wish I could help them, hug them, heal them, and I will through prayer.  And hope that they can feel those prayers from around the world.

So if you are suffering In any way, please know that you are not the only one with trials.  We all have them, we all struggle to bear our burdens and through the power of the atonement we can be lifted.  We can feel that peace and comfort from our Savior Jesus Christ.  I know I have and I continue to feel that each day through the eyes of my family and feeling that gratitude in my heart.

Great things
Peace
Children
Feeling the love of The Lord

Hope

I have always wanted to be a mother.  I think maybe most of us have.  I have two kids.  I don't think I ever thought I would have a huge family but knew I wanted some kids.  Sometimes, when it looks like a tornado has hit your living room and your kid's hair hasn't seen a comb for at least a week, the arguing, whining and whatever else it may be you start wondering what exactly you got yourself in to with this whole kid thing.

Words of advice:  Be Grateful.

I may have two children but I also have struggled with infertility on and off for years.  I am very grateful to have my children.  I pray for them daily and thank Heavenly Father daily for them.  Sometimes I think life would be so much easier if we just knew Heavenly Father's plan he had for us.  Things would certainly be clearer and probably easier.  But the cloudiness of trials sometimes allows us to see the bigger picture.  The refined fire.  While there is always something to learn from those trials sometimes I think that I have already gone through this before, what did I learn then?  Do I need to learn this again?  But I think that perhaps I am not learning the same thing again but learning differently this time.  Now I don't know yet what that is but I do hope it will come to me.  Now I do not know if there will be more kids on earth, but Heavenly Father knows me best and I believe I will get to raise a large brood in heaven.  I am focusing on being content and happy with what I have.  It is hard and it might get harder still but I can have faith in the bigger picture and know most of all that I am loved.

Good things
1.  Peace
2.  Love
3.  Gratitude

Children

Sometimes I get frustrated about the best way to teach or handle my children's tantrums.  Brian and I have been not really knowing what to do with Jaxon and kindergarten.  He has a super late birthday (August) and we have not been sure if we should put him in kindergarten or not.  I have asked a lot of people about what to do and they have given my suggestions.  We have gone back and forth for months about it.  I am probably worrying way too much about this.  Oh well.  Some days I feel that he needs to be held back and three days later I feel that there is no way I can hold him back.  He is bored at home, loves school, and seems to be mostly on top of things... I think.  Well a few weeks ago I happen to ask the kindergarten teacher who happens to be in our ward what her thoughts on the subject were. 

The Best advice I ever got.  She simply said to me, "Ask the Lord, he will know what to do with His child".  I thought,  genius.  Anyway, since that day, I have given this a lot of thought.  I get advice about my children a fair amount,  I ask around maybe someone else has been through something similiar.  I have read parenting books and so forth.  But since she told me this, I have thought, Do I ask the Lord first?  I should.  He knows my children better than I know my children.  He has entrusted me in their care, why shouldn't I ask him.  He is all knowing.  So I am going to try to make a better effort of asking the Lord for help in my parenting.  They are His children too and I should go to Him first.

Good Things
1.  Realization
2.  Holy Ghost
3.  A Loving Heavenly Father

Awareness

Over the last month, I have been pondering.  Not so much one thought in specific but many things.  I have been thinking a lot about trials and tests that we have on during our time on Earth.   While some may seem to be minor and others are perhaps much larger, there is a common theme.  After pondering this for awhile the thought occurred to me that is seems simple.  If we put our trust in God, he will take care of us and not leave us floundering.  It seems like in times when we are struggling that we lean to him more.  Why is that?  Should we not pray just as often during the regular times in our lives as we do in the times of trial?  Or is it that when we are comfortable with life we get lazy and when we are struggling we are truly seeking and praying for an answer to our struggle?  As we bob our heads above water, we grasp for anything and that is the time when Satan can find us so easily sometimes.  If we pray to our Heavenly Father and put our infinite trust in Him, he will throw out the life vest to help each of us in our time of need.  He will not fail us.  Things may not go just as we planned, but will go just as they were suppose to.

Sometimes that trust is hard.  I am a planner.  I like to have a schedule and know when things are happening and when they will be over and such.  I am not always a go with the flow kinda gal.  I like to be prepared for upcoming things so sometimes the fear of the unknown can overcome me.  It is in times of the unknown that I need to put that infinite trust in my Heavenly Father.  I am working on it and it really is an ongoing process.  I have to be reminded that He will always be there for help if I just pray for help.  So I continue to work and push forward.  I can not know everything that will happen but I hope that when things happen I can adapt and adjust and keep working.  I don't know Heavenly Father's plans for me but I do know that He loves me and is always aware of me.  And I always have friends and family that our aware of my struggles as well and can help me along the way.  I love them dearly for it.  I have such a great husband that is so supportive of me and is there to comfort and help me along. 

Good Things
1.  Family and Friends
2.  Faith
3.  Trust in God
4.  It is all going to be okay.

I hope this all makes sense.